52:27 - changing

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Those two kids are my heart and soul.  I never knew how much I wanted, and needed, each of them.  They each have completed me in ways I never knew possible.  They have changed me.  When it comes down to it the most important change is to let go of the things that really don't matter.  This is a work in progress... just ask Joe.  But it is a conscious work in progress.  My kids are happy and healthy and the most amazing little people.  That will always carry so much more weight than how clean my house is or weather or not my husband picks up his socks.     

52:26 - guilt

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I'm learning.  I'm letting go.  I'm accepting that for me to be the best mom I can be I also need to be just Tara sometimes too.  I'm pushing this mommy guilt out and embracing alone time.... or at least I'm trying!  Joe had to push me out of the house but once I was out.... I spent an hour and half sitting in a Starbucks chair with my lattle and my kindle book.  Nothing to clean, no diapers to change, laundry, etc.  It was refreshing.  A few hours here and there can do a world of good to my mental well being.  I've also learned that I need a creative outlet.  I've taken up sewing.  I should get back to writing and blogging.  I need to work on that.     

52:25 - home

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As of this moment we're moving again.  I say "this moment" because if you're familiar with our story you know that our moves and when the moves happen change with the wind and change frequently.  We're like a dandelion family.  Changing direction with the wind.  It is not in my personality to let big things, such as moving, have such uncertainty floating around.  I'm a planner.  But here's the thing; you have to learn to live with and accept the hand you're dealt.  I will say, however, that I never in a million years imagined that marrying a man that works in construction management would mean moving around all the time.  One thing that brings me some peace in all of this is knowing that I can create a home for my kids no matter where we go.  

We headed to Iowa City to check things out.  Carter stayed with Nana & Papa and Mya came with us.  These were two big deals for us.  I've never been away from Carter for longer than 18ish hours.  This would be a whole weekend.  And Mya had never been an "only" child.  Carter had a blast with Nana & Papa and Mya was a little road trip trooper.  

 

For what it's worth Iowa City actually seems pretty decent.  When Joe told me Iowa, I thought "oh good lord why?".  But as it turns out Iowa City seems very family friendly.  We'll see when, and if, this moves pans out.  But like I said, as of now we're moving there sometime this fall or early next year.  How's that for a plan? :) 

project 52:24 - having a baby daddy

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My kids have a great dad.  His love for them knows no bounds.  While he usually keeps his emotions under wraps, when it comes to Carter & Mya his heart is on his sleeve, and plastered all over his face, at all times.  It makes me so happy to see the love between them.  To watch Carter run and give him a hug when he gets home from work.  Or to see Mya laughing like crazy while playing with her daddy.  It makes me so happy.

Carter is very much in a Daddy phase.  I try not to be offended that I'm chopped liver compared to Daddy and most days I'm simply happy to see the love between the two of them that I can't feel hurt.  

project 52:23 - happy

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I know this isn't the normal project 52 but this video cannot be missed.  Mya is one happy girl and she loves to laugh!  This little game with Daddy is always a hit!

Oh my, Mymy.

This girl.  She makes me happy each and every single day.  I had no idea how much I wanted a daughter until she came into my life and cried her little petite cry and I felt her little baby breath on my lips right after she was born.  I cannot believe she is almost 5 months old already.  My Mymy is amazing.  She is very happy and very social.  She thinks Carter is the best thing since sliced bread.  She scrunches up a face in anticipation of a kiss... from me, Joe, Carter & Kody!  She thinks the ABC song is funny and she likes to smile and laugh at the baby and mama in the mirror.  She fake coughs, chews on her hands constantly, and loves her Aden & Anais blankets.  She likes to jump in the jumper and snuggle in the baby carrier.  She really enjoys bath time and still thinks our shower curtain is super awesome.  She rolled over for the first time at 3.5 months but has only recently been rolling all over the place.  Because of this she is now sleeping on her tummy, side and back!  She laughs if you nuzzle her tummy or rub her legs.  She likes to dance and be held.  She's pretty dang amazing that little Mymy.  And if you haven't noticed she has amazing blue eyes and is beyond kissable and snuggleable at all times.

There are more of where these pictures came from but it is getting late and this mama needs her sleep!

52:22 - wrinkles

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Some of my supposed to be great ideas turn out to be the biggest flops.  Like his birthday present balance bike - he's still not into it!  Or the water table I bought Carter last year.  FLOP!  The hose and a puddle of mud and rocks captured his attention much, much longer than the water table.  Now, a year later I told Joe I wanted to get Carter a little blow up pool.  He was on board.  My mom, however, thought it was going to be a waste of money.  A small blow up pool is eight bucks.  For eight bucks it can be a flop.  Turns out those eight bucks were some of the best spent money ever.  To say he had a fun is a serious understatement.  He played non stop, all day long with this little pool.  He had fun!  We had fun, the dogs had fun.... and Mya was really sleepy that day and missed most of it!