A friend from high school just found out her nephew has stage four terminal cancer.... he's 2.5. Since becoming a mama things like this really affect me. I don't personally know this little boy or his family but I found myself crying as I read her blog post about it. 2.5 years old, his mom & dad and older sister. Ugh it tears me up inside.
Squeeze your kids and loved ones closer and tell them I love you as much as possible.
When Carter was born Joe and I had ideas of how we wanted to raise him and what kind of parents we wanted to be. One of my personal "mama goals" was to be sure to tell him I love you all the time. I want Carter to grow up hearing those three words from Joe and I every day, multiple times a day. I want I loves yous to be said around our house like mad. I know the words aren't everything, but it's important to me that Carter hear it from me/us.
Reading about a 2 year old with terminal cancer makes me pause and think about my mama goals. Yes, it is still very important to me for Carter to hear "I love you". But it's also super important to me that we make the most of each day. I've been slacking in this area recently. My day to day focus was definitely off. It bothers me that it takes reading such tragic news to make me realize this. But I am thankful that I see it. Making the most of each day is important. It will vary from day to day, week to week, year to year. But right now, this week, what that means to me is saying screw it to the endless unpacking, cleaning and organizing that needs to be done and taking my bug swimming, jumping on the bed, or going to the splash pad. Or simply sitting down and reading books until my book loving dude's heart is content. When I'm 90 and Joe and I are sitting in our rocking chairs I'm not going to look back on all the cleaning I did and smile remembering what an organized, clean house I had. Who cares about that junk?! What will be etched in my memory are these times I have with Carter and knowing that we made the most of each and every day.
What I'm coming to realize, and accept, is that being a stay at home mom doesn't mean your house is always spotless and laundry is always folded and put away. I'm a stay at home MOM. Not a stay at home housekeeper. What being a stay at home mom means to me is that I have this amazing opportunity to spend all this great time with my kid(s) and I'll be damned if I don't take full advantage of it and live it to the fullest. To hell with the dust bunnies and wrinkled laundry! Call me a terrible housekeeper but don't ever say I took this time with my dude for granted. I realize how extremely lucky I am that I am able to be a stay at home mom and I'm going to make damn sure we live each day to its fullest.
Tonight, forget the dirty clothes and love your loved ones. If I could could fit in Carter's crib I'd be crawling in there right now whispering how much I love him and snuggling his little sleeping body.
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