eve of one

Last year, at this very moment, Joe and I were at Flagstaff Medical Center in the beginning stages of my failed induction. In fact we were probably walking the halls right now trying to get things started. We were probably talking about how it is so crazy that we're about to have a baby and become a little family of three. Today I woke up and looked at the clock. 6:30 (thank you Carter for sleeping in!) We were at the hospital at 6:30am and Carter was still in my belly. It is so bizarre, pregnancy is. I was pregnant for 9 months (10 if you want to get technical) I was induced, I had crazy contractions, I was in labor for 11 hours, pushed for 4 hours, and had a c section. But it still seems so surreal. I remember sitting in the exact spot I am now, rocking in the computer chair and telling Joe when to "hit S" so start timing my contractions. We timed my contractions on the internet. I remember googling "contraction timer" in the midst of a contraction so we didn't have to write it down. Haa.

This morning, on the eve of Carter's first birthday, I find myself reflecting on the past year and looking forward. I expected to be a little emotional with my dude turning one. Has the past year gone fast? Yes! Will I miss the times that Carter slept in my arms for hours or the way his tiny baby body snuggled perfectly into mine? Yes and yes. Will I miss our naps on the couch? Yes. Yes I will miss those times. I very much enjoyed having a tiny tiny baby to snuggle all day long. :) But the best part is that I know that I took full advantage of those times. When I look back I don't have a single regret. I did what felt right at that time, soaked it in, and enjoyed it. When I look at Carter I will always remember those great times. I enjoyed it all very much but I know what lies ahead of us will be just as much fun and I'll enjoy it just as much.

On the eve of our little dude's first birthday all I see are possibilities. His little personality is blooming and he blows me away each and every single day with something funny he does or a new thing he learns. Becoming a mama has been an experience beyond my wildest dreams. Becoming a little family of three has been beyond my wildest dreams. I wouldn't change any of it for the world. When our little bug sees me or his dada and he smiles his little smushed up face smile at us I know that what lies ahead is going to be just as amazing.

definitely not my favorite picture of me, but this was me a year ago today. note to self, don't induldge in as much ice cream next time around!